I think I’m in full-on, mid-life crisis mode but, as with anything I do, I’m not following the normal path and I’m paying attention to steps I’m taking and my surroundings.
(How’s that for hubris?)
I am not where I thought I’d be when I was young and I can see exactly why. I am also aware of my own mortality and age. I am no longer the young prodigy who started a theater right out of college. I’m the greying fuddy-duddy who doesn’t want to use Instagram because social media is mostly a time suck and why bother learn something new if it’s dumb. In my down moments I compare everyone else’s success to my life and think about where I went wrong.
I could give you a list.
But who cares? When I really look at where I am and who I am and what I’ve done, it’s amazing. And it’s not over yet. There will be rough patches and challenges and triumphs and boring parts. Life will keep life-ing along like it always has. The world will continue to fall apart and put itself back together in a new way. There will be cause and effect and there will be seemingly random events that come out of nowhere.
I can only control what I do and what I say. I can’t control the outcome. That has always been true.
Really, the only thing that has changed is that I am more aware of my own mortality than I ever have been before. The fact that I have a limited lifespan is now real to me in a way it never was before. Again, this has always been true but now I’m actually aware of it.
That just means that if I have something I want to do, I should try to do it now or soon.
Perhaps it goes without saying but I’ll say it anyway.
That has also always been true.
And it’s true for you too so get out there and do it!